Life and Times of AlieMalie

Earlier this week, I spoke with one of my friends here in Fargo and asked, in a very weird way, if we could kinda, for all intents and purposes speed up our friendship because I am in a pretty dangerous place when it comes to feeling the full effects of having isolated myself in a job and new place. It was an awkward conversation because I was forced to put myself out there in a very revealing matter that sounded a lot like asking someone to commit to a romantic relationship (but not) and ask him to step forward and be a more engaged friend. Something that normally comes with time but was sped up. Like I said, weird.

It’s patently obvious that I’m struggling here in Fargo and there are a number of reasons for it: I’m isolated from my small support network in San Antonio; I’m the only person in the state with my organization so work is isolating as well; I find it difficult to make friends easily; and lastly, my personal state/emotional state/personality doesn’t lend itself well to being happy and chipper and I can often find myself in a downward spiral quickly and it’s difficult to get out of. Damn brain chemicals.

Anyway, yesterday I was invited to spend the afternoon with his family and some friends out at their lake house in Minnesota. I was fully intending to take the afternoon off from work and chalk it up to a mental health day, but luckily, they gave us the afternoon off in anticipation of the holiday today. Nice bosses, I tell you, they really couldn’t be better.

So I spent the afternoon failing at fishing but having a great time, hanging with some really positive and fun time, playing cards and just in general relaxing. I also got a little more than my fair share of vitamin D, too. Oops. Hopefully it’ll help with the mood, the vitamin D I mean.

Anyway, I set out to write this post about something entirely different, though related, to families and kids and wanting and not wanting them, but I’m gonna pull a Palin and quit here without entirely finishing my post. Maybe I’ll expound on it another day.

I watch this nearly everyday – it helps me deal with some of the daily BS.